Disturbing Dreams

I've been having some very vivid, very disturbing dreams lately. Last night's dreams were fine (what I remember of them) if a bit restless, but this morning... I caught an extra hour or so of sleep, and I dreamt that I received a phone call from Merri, of all people.

It was hard to hear her at the other end of the connection, she kept fading out. But after a bit of catching up she told me she thought she had something attached to her, like a demon. Two of them, actually. That she was prone to periods of memory loss when she didn't know what she had done, and that she woke up sometimes with small cuts on her lower back that sometimes lingered, and sometimes healed within the day. She asked me for my help.

In the dream I went to her, and did what I would have done in waking, though why I thought I could manage alone I had no idea. The worst trouble was that part of her was addicted to the demonic presence and was unwilling to let go of it. Partway through our session she became antsy and her attention wandered, so I tried Ho'oponopono.... and the demons possessed her and attacked me. There followed a struggle where I did my best to treat her while keeping her both from leaving and from hurting me. At some point we were interrupted, I think by her younger sister, and we regained some distance and control. I did some more work, and the demons seemed to back off... But then I woke, unsure whether I had freed her, or simply made her tormentors angry.

And two hours after having woken from this dream, I still cannot get Merri out of my head. But all I can do is send her love and prayers, on the off chance that something bad may have happened to her. We haven't talked in years. I can't very well call her up or email her and ask if she's okay because I had this crazy dream... I have nightmares all the time. Like most of them I would have let this one go, if it had only faded after waking. But that I am still uneasy hours later makes me worry. Merri, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, remember that you are loved. Peace be with you.


This was not the first occurrence of a nightmare that began with a phone call from a friend with whom I have been out of touch. This last weekend I dreamed that Trent called me, and he was suffering from a desperate and deadly depression. He needed a friend fast, or he would possibly do something permanent to himself.... Waking, I cannot imagine the calm, solid, wonderful Trent being so throughly dimmed and dejected. But I have had a dream of him before, where I saw him in soldier mode, and when I described it he told me that it was accurate.

Perhaps I am merely feeling subconsciously guilty about not having contacted either of these two lovely people in so long. Perhaps I am merely trying to get myself to write the emails and make the phone calls that I promised to all the people I promised them to.

I worry, and yet do not call. Terrible habit.

On another topic.... Scribe my darling, you are leaving tomorrow. Have a fabulous trip. I love you, I miss you already, I look forward to hearing your voice and seeing your face online. Go with all the blessings and hugs you can carry. I'll try to get the rest of chapter two to you tonight.

@}~'~~,~~~~~~~Thistle