Quick note here.
A lot has happened in the last...almost two months. I turn twenty-seven at the end of the week. I have made some personal vows to break certain patterns and make new ones. My head still whirls...everything has happened so quickly.
Raymond and I are officially a done item. It was done badly, and I handled it worse. Things have been really rocky, but we're attempting to be friends now and handle one another gently. I'm still really sad that it didn't work, a part of me is still whimpering about the loss of him. And of course, I've never been on my own before. Being alone is WEIRD. But I have a lot of friends, and a wonderful family, and so many activities that I very rarely actually spend a whole day without seeing anyone. And it's impossible to go a whole day without TALKING to somebody. So that's helping keep me sane.
He's still struggling to find work, but very excited about going back to school for writing and photography. I'm trying to find my first job ever...sort of. I'm still settling into this new life of mine, and jobs are scary. Some part of me goes "let's just wait a little longer. We're not in trouble yet". Bad planning, I know. But every day I inch closer to success.
I'm trying to do the NaNoWriMo this month, but haven't written a word yet. Have to get on that. Have to pay bills. Have to get my cell phone charger back! I'm doing a podcast with some friends, and it will totally rock when it gets posted. I have a lot of good things in my life, and people that I haven't spoken to in forever are coming out of the woodwork. It's hard to keep up with them, but I'm trying.
That's enough said for now, I'll try to make a more complete update soon.
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2 comments:
You are very strong and you did not deserve for this to happen to you. Raymond it appears is going through the proverbial mid-life crisis and I know that after such a terrible experience all you want to do is cry, hide, and most importantly never, ever, ever trust another relationship to that level ever again.
I know that you will look back at times to this relationship and pick at it. What did I do wrong? Sometimes the pain of it can be so unbearable that your very bones ache.
Raymond is an absolute idiot to do what he has done and I think less of him for it. You were the best thing to have ever happened to him. Nothing justifies what he has done. If he feels broken instead of leaving he should have clung to you for support. But he chose not to.
I love that you are growing and when you have survived this you truly will be a strong person. You will be even more confident that you already are and that will attract a wonderful man who will appreciate you in the ways that you deserve.
You are loved and thought about often. I had a dream about you the other day and it was a beautiful dream and I am not often wrong. I know that things will work out for you in the end because you are deserving of everything bright and shining.
You are golden and I personally feel a great deal privileged to have been blessed in knowing you.
Hello Sammi Its been a while. You are one hard lady to contact but having found your blog,hope shines anew.
Its me Darrell Coon we were friends a few years agon more than a few actually, and I dropped the ball I'll admit.
Anyway I am very sorry to hear about you and raymond it makes me sad.
I hope you are doing well, I would love to reconnect and be friends once more and prove my self worthy of your friendship.
Please if you can and will my e-mail address is moonwolfnsc@aol.com,drop me a line I would love to hear from you.
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